Inter-cast marriages!
I know this is going to be controversial, but still...
India is known for what is called "Unity in diversity". The question of whether we are "united" is different, but we sure are losing our unity in "diversity" (as in a diverse culture). Two of the major culprits , i opine, for the loss of this "identity" are: 1. Inter-caste marriages 2. Influence of western culture.
There are increasingly more number of people these days who wish to call themselves "Indians" rather than branding them by their castes or sub-castes - Hats off! But there is a hidden cost involved. Though one might talk about equality of castes and sects, the goal should also be to preserve each one's identity - a thing kept in tact for god knows how many years!.
A muslim is supposed to do "namas" each friday; a christian is supposed to make it a point to go to a church every sunday; a brahmin is supposed to do sandhyavandhanam 3 times a day...the list is endless...
But how many of these things are being followed today??! Though influence of western culture plays a major part, the role of inter-caste marriages is big too, and should not be neglected. When, say a nadar ties the knot with a mudaliyar, they end up erasing the identity of the generations to follow. For the "live a life for yourself" person, this might be of no concern, but for a "die-hard fan of Indian culture", this really is a point of worry!
Moreover in India, marriage is as association of 2 families rather than 2 mere individuals. It is an occasion to celebrate and remember, for the entire set of family and friends, and its high-time we consider being more responsible. The parents of today are, however more than willing to nod their heads to inter-caste weddings, showcasing their affection towards their wards! But what they are forgetting is to think about the future of their grand-children, and ultimately their descent!
Take the US of A for example. It is supposed to be penthouse for people from so many different countries and cultures. But the point to be noted is that everyone behaves much the same way once born and brought up there. Be it a chinese, or a black, or an ABCD, the rude "mommy, you are boring" and the "dad, get me a drink" are extremely common house-hold statements! The beauty here is that, India *shines*, and with pride, because of its ability to preserve the identities of such diverse cultures over thousands of years (which I'm afraid is fast evaporating :( )
One might ask me to get a move over, saying all my points of view are archaic, and are no longer coherent with the life of today! This very attitude is the result of western influence. There are somethings that need to be preserved, relished and cherised...and our culture is definitely one among them. Lets work for it, in whatever *small* way possible...cheers...
***********
PS: This doesnt mean that preventing inter-caste marriages alone would keep our heritage in tact....just that inter-caste wedding is one neglected aspect, which I thought, needed to be brought under our eyes.
India is known for what is called "Unity in diversity". The question of whether we are "united" is different, but we sure are losing our unity in "diversity" (as in a diverse culture). Two of the major culprits , i opine, for the loss of this "identity" are: 1. Inter-caste marriages 2. Influence of western culture.
There are increasingly more number of people these days who wish to call themselves "Indians" rather than branding them by their castes or sub-castes - Hats off! But there is a hidden cost involved. Though one might talk about equality of castes and sects, the goal should also be to preserve each one's identity - a thing kept in tact for god knows how many years!.
A muslim is supposed to do "namas" each friday; a christian is supposed to make it a point to go to a church every sunday; a brahmin is supposed to do sandhyavandhanam 3 times a day...the list is endless...
But how many of these things are being followed today??! Though influence of western culture plays a major part, the role of inter-caste marriages is big too, and should not be neglected. When, say a nadar ties the knot with a mudaliyar, they end up erasing the identity of the generations to follow. For the "live a life for yourself" person, this might be of no concern, but for a "die-hard fan of Indian culture", this really is a point of worry!
Moreover in India, marriage is as association of 2 families rather than 2 mere individuals. It is an occasion to celebrate and remember, for the entire set of family and friends, and its high-time we consider being more responsible. The parents of today are, however more than willing to nod their heads to inter-caste weddings, showcasing their affection towards their wards! But what they are forgetting is to think about the future of their grand-children, and ultimately their descent!
Take the US of A for example. It is supposed to be penthouse for people from so many different countries and cultures. But the point to be noted is that everyone behaves much the same way once born and brought up there. Be it a chinese, or a black, or an ABCD, the rude "mommy, you are boring" and the "dad, get me a drink" are extremely common house-hold statements! The beauty here is that, India *shines*, and with pride, because of its ability to preserve the identities of such diverse cultures over thousands of years (which I'm afraid is fast evaporating :( )
One might ask me to get a move over, saying all my points of view are archaic, and are no longer coherent with the life of today! This very attitude is the result of western influence. There are somethings that need to be preserved, relished and cherised...and our culture is definitely one among them. Lets work for it, in whatever *small* way possible...cheers...
***********
PS: This doesnt mean that preventing inter-caste marriages alone would keep our heritage in tact....just that inter-caste wedding is one neglected aspect, which I thought, needed to be brought under our eyes.
posted by thegaad at 10:05 PM
88 Comments:
"But there is a hidden cost involved."
I simply fail to see your point here. I can't believe that in this day and age you actually think that our traditions and so called culture determine who we are, that they preserve one's identity.
Of course, you are entitled to your opinion. But I don't think that "This very attitude is the result of western influence. " I have mixed parentage and I am extremely proud of my heritage. Preservation of tradition and culture don't have to depend on things such as these.
And I can show you tons of families that will never marry outside their caste and community... and I can show you people from those very families that care two hoots about their culture. Is that western influence? I honestly think not!
@raaga:"I have mixed parentage and I am extremely proud of my heritage"
Personally, I'dve been really sad if i belonged to a mixture of traditions, not knowing what exactly my ancestry is, and knowing that my future generations wont have an identity (again, thatz wat India has been famous...i have a german friend, who showers praises cos of this...lolz)...again, itz just very personal as u said...
now that u r from mixed parentage, id love to get ur views...(no offence meant, but )have you NEVER felt bad that you are the starting point for closing the current scheme of things, and starting a thread on ur own (a thread which doesnt have a tag line?)
cos, itz kind of very disturbing to me...im from a very traditional background, and id LOVE to have certain things the were they were meant to be...
"and I can show you people from those very families that care two hoots about their culture. Is that western influence? I honestly think not!"
you are talking abt people of today. go and ask ur grandma abt how much importance their parents or grand parents used to give to these issues. im just saying that these things have gotten converted into trivial issues (you urself think itz not important), which is definitely due to the care-free attitude of modern folks painted with western thoughts!
An identity is what you create for yourself. I am an Indian.
"There are increasingly more number of people these days who wish to call themselves "Indians" rather than branding them by their castes or sub-castes - Hats off!"
Hats off to me and my tribe. I will never feel bad that I (in your words) will be the starting point for closing the current scheme of things. The life that I have known today... people like you (and no offense meant) can't even imagine living it... even generations from now.
You know, there is a big benefit to inter caste marriages...it prevents in-breeding and many of the horrible genetic diseases. When you marry from within your caste, you are mixing blood with someone who probably shares your blood, though diluted by centuries, but certain dormant genes find their partners and the end result might be a child having congenital disorders.
Anoher thing I would like to say is that just coz its a mixed bag doesnt mean that either loses his/her identity. In fact the child has the benefit of picking the best tradition of the two. Just coz you are from a hindu muslim background doesnt mean you have to embrace one. Why, the child would get the benefit of the vedas from one parent while learn the teachings of the Quran from the other. In fact am sure with two gods, more paryers might get answered...lol.
Sky :)
Ummm forgot to say, you have a good thought process, but never be too rigid in a view, flexibility is a great thing to possess most of the times :)
@sky: thatz why we have something called the "gothram", which ill explain to you on yahoo...lolz...
btw, nice thought abt 2 different cultures being brought into a single person...just that it tends to defeat the very purpose of my 50-lines of rambling...lolz...
re rigidity, im not sure what you mean...you saying i should never have opinions??
@raaga: Im an INDIAN too...and a proud one...and thatz EXACTLY why i wrote this blog...now, im just not sure whether you got my point...
India is *known* for a few things...im proud about them...India is being *influenced* by a few other things...im NOT saying those things are atrocious...am just saying, those things are simply erasing what our *India* is (was???) known for!
"people like you"??
kindly elaborate if u can...
i strongly support ur idea. i wonder how a person with two castes, religions can pick up thebesr if the parents either dont care or ardentky push duties of thier religion into the kind raising pressure and conflict in the age the kid may not judge wht to do. the critics had point and tried to raise shows that some energy is needed to spend on this and u did it. good work dude.
thanks
niranjan reddy
Niranjandas@gmail.com
@niranjan: AT LAST!!!! some one to agree to my point of view...lolz...u blog too?? send me ur link...
i rarely do but on stuff related to US and that may help very few. i use that to blog to post messages that we use for sending bulk mails. lol. anyway if someone in US (aliens) needs what to do and how to get a visa from canada i detailed that trip for them @ lifeusa.blogspot
thanks
Niranjandas@gmail.com
interesting line of thought
just one point of dissent though..
your post seems to omit mention of the fact that intercaste marriages are more often than not, influenced by the concept of "love" marriages - the couple getting together on their own terms, rather than those of their families'. it IS true that marriage is an association of not just two individuals, but rather two families but when the choices are made by individuals (NOT in any INTENTION to be rid of the systems of caste and identity but on a more personal note of rapport and comaptibility between the couple themselves) then such mixes are inevitable.
so would u be making a statement that in this world of internet dating and unprecedented levels of person to person contact, tieing the knot with someone you choose to live with can happen only if u are one of those lucky few who managed to find the "right person" in the same caste as yours???
apart from the this thought though, i happen to agree with your views. but i'll be interested to know your arguement nevertheless
"people like you" being ones who are so staunchly against intercaste/ interlanguage/ inter religion marriages.
@meaculpa: wats ur reason mate?? just curious
"what if the girl u r in love with is a child of mixed parenthood or from a diff caste"
ill sort it out iffff i get into such an issue...lolz...
Our true 'identity' is that we are all humanbeings.And it won't change if we do an intercaste marriage.Superficially it may look an intercaste marraige but basically an humanbeing is marrying with other humanbeing.Do u mean that we should restart perverted traditons like satipratha and tradition of denying educatation to women coz it was also part of our identity.We should not continue inhuman traditions,casteist mindset in the name of god,culture or identity.Remember ur using the technology created in the western culture.Bcoz of the people with casteistmindset India is on the verge of civil war and division.
As far as I see d comments over here(I myself having cum 2 see wat people view intercaste marriages like)am astonished 2 see people here forming 2 groups again in order 2 debate this particular issue in such shot period of time--so there's nothing wrong for people 2 form all these religions and their sub sets over all these thousands of years.
Wat I basically want all of u 2 realize is First and Last point is we're all human beings fine-we were born as human beings-though we r not sure whether we live as human beings--but am sure one day we r all going 2 die as human beings--so wats d fun of all these discussions leading us no where?Our life must be led according 2 our wish--The Best thing we can do regarding our marriage is-First choice is-if we find a person who really cares for us(tats the true love one can call)jus dont leave him/her for anyone on earth-bcoz u r the luckiest person 2 find someone like tat-share ur life with tat person
Second choice is if u dont find someone who can love u-then take the help of ur parents-select one-get ur arranged marriage done--try atleast and at last to start loving ur spouse
Tats all-one thing we've 2 remember is-all of us have our ancestors as Adam and Eve--and NONE OTHER--so we r all ONE and e belong to ONE AND ONLY ONE religion or caste or nationality-tat is HUMAN-Tats it
Hi All,
I am in Love with a girl. Our caste is differnet. She is doing BCA and this is her first year. I have told my family about this. The problem is as usual. Our families not giving permission for this. I am wel settled and my family is searching a girl from my caste for marriage. I don't wana marry other girl.
Any cost I wana marry her.
I will be very thankful if anybody can give my valuable suggesion.
Thanks in advance
Which one is better???
Intra caste marriage: when ur parents find a SUITABLE girl/boy for you with the knowledge/help of relatives and other mediators. This SUITABLE stamp is normally put by some person that could be your relative, dad’s friend, family priest or some mediator. MEANS these ppl are there to decide your fate, ur lifepartener. What’s the surety that the CHOSEN one is actually SUITABLE?
Inter caste marriage: when u finds someone SUITABLE in your definition and in the definition of your parents too, except that he/she is not from the same caste/ community. You have FIRST put the SUITABLE stamp and asked your parents approval for the same. Is this fair that the person will be rejected considering the caste only? Can they (parents) think neutrally as they do in case of arranged marriages? Can’t they consider the choice of their son\daughter as they used to consider of any other relative or friend?
I want to ask here, what’s the problem with inter caste arranged marriage???
As I read in history,Intercaste marriages had happened in 12th century as well. The intercast marriage is a solution to social caste evil. There is no difference between any caste people. But some people to seek privilage in the society still encourage the caste system.I wont agree caste system. Intercaste mariages helps to develop egalitarian society. Waiting for comments.
This is insane and there is no need for debate except for you primordial creatures ... your identity .. your culture and americans saying papa pass me that drink .. great comparison ?? .. horse-shit ..
Do u think we indians dnt drink coz of culture/tradition .. than there should be not have been a single wine shop on india at the pure time of pure culture and tradition which u r nostalgic abt ... some 500 yrs ago .. haan is it ?? thats where u belong err i mean refer too when things were great according to you.. wrong !!!! our very devtas used to drink wine .. our lord shiva used take all sorts of things ... y so ??
Repeat after me
Gods were not created by Gods.
I am a theist but don't beleive in whatever book written by some dinosaur aged nut or a serial by BR Chopra tells me abt god.I have an IQ of 148 and can figure it out myself better than most.
Gods were created by patronizing bastards who made fool out of people since forever.
They made em drink they made em dance with apsaras they made em doin watever they wanted to do ... so as to justify if they wanna do it ... thats wat gods do ... they serve selfish needs .. and by showing apparent knowledge and closeness
or a way to reach Gods ... the people who blare stuff about gods gain imporatant social positions .. much like a Mutual Fund promising a mysteriously high return if you invest in it ... but nothing about it .. though thats hypothetical as SEBI will
not allow it ahemmm ...
culture / tradition followed and stuff .. or coming back .. if u meant that we respect our elders and dnt ask for drinks in front of em or from em ... wat good is that ??? lolzzz or should i ask is that any good at all .. atleast in US a parent is more likely to know that her ward drinks .. in culture you hide it from ur parents .. and ur parents probably find out when u have damaged ur liver ... hail culture !!! ..
openess and transparency is exactly the things the castes were created to vaporize ... to offer unjust advantages to people of once own community ...
early evoulution ... stronger was the better .. the fighter class ... people respected and feared were the strongest ones in there community ... they were warlords .. tribe heads much like in animal kingdom ...
another parallel situation arose due to development of language based communication in humans ... KNOWLEDGE ... knowledge was scarce and hence due to basic economics - precious .. so learned men or men who may not be learned but knew stuff that others dunno were praised to no ends ... the vidwans .. they dint have power like the formers but gained respect by there foresight , ability to solve problems , thinking process and hence created a niche for themselves .. they were revered for there intelligence and an aura of mystery by knowing things no one else knew .. may be they knew gods too .. gods who bring floods or cause fire or save us from being eaten by tigers or give us a good hunt on one day..
ask em and they say "Sure !!!! " we know gods all right ... they do this .. they do that .. they live atop there mountain (where u suckers can never reach !!! ) or they live at the bottom of seas .. they do all sort of things u can't see .. they say all sort of word su can't here ... but us .. its different with us we know all abt em ..<-------[ baalllaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh .. i hate em so much]
but there is no gurantee for decendants of an intelligent person to be as intelligent as his progenitor .. so these son of bitches devisd a way of which people like me are eternally scarred ... bang came the castes where being to a caste represented traits .. formner becoming the kshatriyas and the latter becoming brahmins .. now if u r brahmin u r by default learned , knowledgable and hence privileged among lesser caste people ... respected by kshatriyas by default so no problems in getting killed by em .. life's a peach for all of my folks (i am a brahmin by the way) ... its akin to saying the whites are born superior blacks(any racism suppoters too here ??) .. later came vaishyas and shudras with spread of commerce apart from the primivial instincts as man got smarter and civilized .. but i wont bore u with it .. but the point is
Caste does not mean an identity,it means the loss of it by having one forced on u
While we blowed culture horns westerners make cars,computers,universities,high yield grains,industries,staellites,internet,airplains,missiles,health care systems,infrastructure,judicial systems and then our most progressive people at best can try and copy ... praise ur german frnd on that if u want ..
Repeat after me
Culture does not make the world go round .. does at best to stop it by wasting precious time,mental faculty,resources,devotion
Sick as it is ... it is the biggest bane that has been around ... sure it was important to survive in some aspects in semi civilized world .. but even that is a selfish use of culture and against the natural rule of survival of fittest individuals(not groups deemed fittest)
Lets see some irony ... when we classify people into groups instead of individuals ... say group A on average has better intellectual capability than group B .. by classification .. we may stike off all group B people in a selection of best .. even though some people in group B might be better than that of group A or it might be so that the best person among the populace belongs to group B but gets wiped out ...
Just being to group B decides your faith ... you are not an individual ... or in other words u r an identity which u r not ... if u r a fool in A u will survive .. if u r a genius in B u will die ... A can be brahmins , whites , nazis B may be untouchables , neegros or jews ...
Repeat after me
Nature does not classify .... anyone can evolve wings/tails/venom/comouflage/vertebrae or loose em if it is required by the enviroment ... anyone can SURVIVE .... or get killed if it doesnt adapt ... thats why Nature is referred to as Mother nature .. does not distinguish between her children ..
B. Returning back to the topic at the last
1. Genetically intercaste marriage are superior as already explained
2. You dont have to give up ur faith .. u can choose one .. heck u shud be allowed to have christian chldren with muslim and hindu husband and wife ... faith is something u associate with not are borne with
3. There is a .0000000000000..infinite zeros...1 % chance of finding true love and finding out that he/she also thinks of u as his/her true love .. if u find it .. let people suck there culture's .. u be wid em
4. Knowing good things of more than 1 cultures tells u more things to do ... and more bad things tell u more of wat not to do.
5. Diversity is essence of life , evoultion , civilization , progress be it a IT company with it diverse task force ... or organisms evolving traits by selecting genes from a diverse pool made available to them.
it gives multiple point of views ... rational debates .. more abstract mind sets ... varied mental and physical abilities ... be as all encomapssing as u can and u will know that there is so much more to know than u already know.
CRUX - Being muticultured or multi ethnic in itself is not wrong but failing to acknowlege the equalty of others , failing to embrace others is wrong .. wrong wrong wrong wrong aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
Last but not the least --- get a life dude ... don't beleive evthin ur culture sayz ... dnt beleive evthin i say ... believe wat ur head sayz is right .. but analyse right nd wrong with a neutral perspective .. helicopter view from above
Religion casts are all man-made, and inter-caste marriages etc. are all again a part of evolution. If we examine our roots and go back in time, we will find that origins of human beings did not look at all this. Cults have formed, groupism have formed to protect territories. This infact leads to war. We should move towards a culture of one-ness, embracing each other's culture, way of living, religion, territory, nationality. Whether the quran, bible, gita, etc, all preach similar philosophies. We people interpret it in various ways, and then fight over what is right and what is better than the other. When i was little girl i did not even know that people think of different religions as a problem. I am a hindu brahmin by birth, and have retained my religion, and a pretty religious one at that. I married a catholic and have had no issues ever. I have an affinity for Muslims, and am drawn towards islamic people. I love the Gurudwaras and the peace one feels when one enters a gurudwara. I can marry someone from any religion, and i can tell you that it should not be a bar at all. Society has to evolve into a peaceful world, and i would encourage rather than discourage mixed-marriages. Both our families have had no problem. And i am closer to my in-laws then my hubby is.
"Moreover in India, marriage is as association of 2 families rather than 2 mere individuals. It is an occasion to celebrate and remember, for the entire set of family and friends, and its high-time we consider being more responsible. "
I totally agree on your point here. It is true that the weaving of two families is an important aspect.
I am a complete "preserve your culture" person. And I don't mind saying that I am more of a "preserve your caste" person too. But, what if you fall in love with a person from a different caste? You will have to make a choice. A choice which is either biased towards
> a "preserve the caste" or
> a "preserve your love for the person you love";
which one is a better choice? and how can we decide which criteria "better choice" comes under? is "better choice" supposed to be on grounds of
> "more advantages in marrying this person" or
> "more love in marrying this person"?
The situation gets complicated when a choice with all awareness has to be made. One has to be aware of how many risks they are taking and how many risks they are giving.
A marriage is a union of two lives; and every choice you make in this regard is of high risk, as it is ultimately the two people living together playing the cards and all others are just the audience.
What is the whole point of preserving the caste when the superior goal is to preserve the culture? my parents both are from same caste and same sect but they had many cultural differences. They still preserved they caste and came to a common ground on which culture they followed. Ultimately they are happy, and even the society. so, even if they were from different castes, they would have adapted to a common culture. so, ultimate preservation of your culture is the criteria and not preservation of the caste.
Now, coming to identity. If you are a society person, you will have to make a choice on which identity you chose to give people to see. Here again, the choices are between
> your identity as the person you have grown yourself to be
> your identity as the person your society has grown you to be.
There is a very thin line between them, but a very deep difference.
In conclusion, a reasonable identity would be "person who has grown oneself to be and also who has preserved the culture". But again, everything depends only on choice. And whats yours?
lol..... Beign human has a better value edition when compared to beign a part of certain religion or caste.... and as far as your US comments go.... please spare me....
US is what it is cause of its value for "human" life.... black or white or asian or handicapped.... all have equal right.... you see hadicapped parking anywhere you go.... busses and public transport are handicapped equipped.... and there is no reservations unlike India for SC/ST etc etc... cause they value human life and treat everyone the same.....
And in India you see trucks carrying BIG stones and many such life hazards and the officials stay ignorant to these... cause everone is more focused on caste, religion, etc etc crap where in there loose the value for human life and equality....
And reading your replies.... I am assuming you(actually you came of more as a subtle guy entitled to your opinion, so no hard feeling with you bro) and your friend "the reddy(LOL...OMG..these is the Nth reddy i came to know of who acted like a loser)" belong to this sect/caste of human beigns who look very ugly and are not succesful in life as human beigns who cant get what they want and NEED an identity to prove who you are.... good for you dudes..... whatver makes you happy and sleep at night.....cheers!!!!
P.S: Honest advice is that you should look into the HINDU, MUSLIM, CHRISTIAN, etc.. scriptures to find many of "gods" or forefathers have infact had intercaste, interreligion marriages.... who knows after all this big talk you dig into your past and find out you are a.... greek-jewish-sunni-catholic-orthodox brahmin.... who does sandhyavandanam and namakam chamakam... mantra pushpam.... 3 times a day.....
and by the way comments like yours and people beleiving these thoughts are the breeding grounds for the next Hitler beign born... maybe in India this time..... because of which millions of innocent lives will be lost..... and yet there are these small sect of these people who still beleive in discrimination of humans... who manage to survive every world war.... I just keep wondering how???
This comment has been removed by the author.
I think intercaste marriages are more of a necessity today than an evil. Many of the communal problems in the society would not exist had there been more interbreeding and homogenization. Marriage has been the solution to many a problem since the time of the great kings of the present India. It is logically impossible for several communities to coexist in true harmony, if each one tries to isolate themselves by forming bonds within their own clan. Time to reach out. It will happen - whether you like it or not - whether it is today or twenty years later. If you are smart, you will embrace this truth and not try to fight it. I also fail to see any necessity to preserve clan/caste identities. The divisions were created by a group of men and can very well be broken by another group of people. Give yourself some self-importance and consider yourself an important part of history/culture/society and then you will dare to make the important decisions.
i would just like 2 ask all dose ppl against inter caste and inter religious marriages 2 cut der hand and another person belonging 2 a different religion, what is d result when u cut ur hand? it starts 2 bleed, its d same blood in ur hand and d opposite persons hand..ders no difference ppl, y do every1 fight and do not accept inter religious marriages? ders ntng wrng in it,its part of life.. its v d human beings who made all dese differences in caste and religion ders nothing wrong if u break d rules!! afterall life is abt breaking d rules!! ALL D BEST.. PADU :)
If we consider History it can be greatly found that India has been an inclusive culture ever since its inception.We have been through a lot of remodelling through out the history Wat you mention as caste system is not maybe a few centuries old.
The social structure and thinking at that time may have been different at that time.In my opinion everything that paves the way for discrimination of man on any basis of caste creed or color is derogatory and not suitable for humanity as a whole in the long run.We as Indians should be proud of our heritage and continue our traditions in a lot of other ways which will take us to the next level of progress.
We have a lot of things to be proud of and to maintain our heritage then thinkin about our caste systems,which if we study history have been the biggest oppressor.We have a strong value system in place which does not belong to a particular caste but is in collective thinking.What we need to have is a sense of responsiblity towards the country and drive to take it new hights and oppose anything which creates cruelity or oppression of any section of society on some discriminatory basis.
i found this 2 b a very controversial topic....actually am sailin in both d boats n seriously dunno vat 2 do...cud any1 help me stick 2 one firmly..actually am in luv wid a brahmin guy..hez a tamil n am a kannadiga belongin 2 d gowda community..dare r vast differences in our cultures n itz almost impossible 4 ma parents 2 agree wid our decision..at any cost i don wanna go against ma parents n get married..ma parents've been nice 2 me alwayz.their health is very bad..i cant go against them..nor can i think f marryin some1 else arranged by them..ma bro came 2 knw abt diz n advised me lotz..sayin this isnt practically possible..2 cultures can neva mingle..bla bla..it wud create prbms 4 d future generations..n also since v dont hav mucha age difference he says v cant b successful in future..there wud b lotza fights n stuff cuz f d ego..hez convincin but cant ditch ma guy n proceed wid an arranged marriage...our luv is very true..but sometimes i doubt if this is really possible..since i was brought up in a particular tradition can i really adapt 2 a totally different 1?can som1 help me plz...sometimes i get so depressed dat i feel lyk endin ma lyk as m unable 2 make a choice 4rm d two...
I just want to say that if u are doing intercast marriage then it would not harm the tradition. I also agree that certain things must b preserved but it doesn't mean that all things which we got from our ancestorer's are good. Always we have to verify things to b retained and if u agree then only preserve it, otherwise,
"CHANGE IS THE PERMANENT THING"
I don't agree with you at all. As an Indian, I do respect my religion but I do give equal respect to other religions/caste. Inter-caste marriages are healthy. People should broaden their point of view and start living their life. If someone is not a good human being, it doesn't matter which race he belongs to.
Let people choose who they want to marry and spend their live with. We probably need people to promote freedom of choice. Its not an influence from Western Countries but earlier girls were deprived of their rights, I guess its time for them to speak up and make decisions as per their own wish.
Happiness is much more important than maintaining caste system. We have only one life to live......!!
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